Living the dream

Sometimes in my life, I have to make kind of major decisions. Or at least decisions that feel like they are kind of huge, ominous and definitive. Ick. I really do not enjoy those kinds of things. And I’m definitely a planning kind of person, so when things don’t really go the way I think they should, frustration sets right on in.  (How rude of it, right?.)

This all spawns from what one of my very wise professors told me earlier this week. He took a 20 minute long tangent to teach our class about taking time to think each day.  He expounded on the benefits of thinking, the techniques, and the need for us to unplug from our iPods every now and again.  Unintentionally, I tried this out.

And guess what? It stressed me out beyond belief.  I don’t actually know what I want to do with my life.  Well, that’s not true. I do.  I just always worry that what I want to do won’t make a difference in the world. I want to know that I am somehow changing the world.

See, when you’re like me and have had a handful of roommates who wanted to be elementary school teachers, lawyers, nurses, and park-rangers–all careers where you can very visibly see the impact that you have on the people (or animals) that you come into contact with, you kind of feel like you might not really be doing anything that awesome.

English just doesn’t quite have that whole “you’re-really-doing-something-great-with-your-life” feel to it.

Really and truly, I just want to change the world.

So, as I contemplated a career change this week, I realized a couple of things which I will now present in a list form.

1.  The English Language is pretty important to, you know, American Society. Without it, we’d all have to either learn another language or use a fancy made up language to attempt to communicate.  I’ve decided today that an English Language major is kind of like a body guard to the language.  My job is to make sure that people know how to treat English, what kinds of things it likes, what kinds of things it doesn’t like, and in some respects, how to use it.

2.  Someday, I would like to be a children’s librarian. How fun would that be? And how perfect is that job for ME?   If I were to do that, I would definitely be able to see the impact I was having in children’s lives as I shared my passion for books, reading, writing, and literacy.

3.  Editing probably has some effect upon society–even if it is just so people out there can read their books, newspapers, and magazines without spelling errors, punctuation errors, and just plain crazy things that can sometimes happen in writing.

4.  On top of all that, I’m pretty sure just BEING at BYU trains me to live a meaningful life.  With a motto like: “Enter to learn, go forth to serve”, how could my education here be for a not useful life? Really, it probably couldn’t.

So, in the end, I decided to stick with my major. And really, how could I not with just 1.5 years left of school? That would be just plain dumb of me. Super dumb, in fact.

Planning and thinking this week got me in trouble.  And stressed out beyond belief.  My planned class schedule got thrown into the air like confetti.  I totally jumped into the waters of self-doubt (started to drown, actually).

But guess what?

I think it’s all going to work out.  My classes, having a meaningful life, and living the dream.  I mean, it usually does. And that is pretty dang good, if you ask me.


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