To be cliche

Hi, and Happy Holidays!

I’m back! And guess what! I survived finals! And I have only ONE semester left at BYU! And I’m working on applying to grad school! CRAZY!

But that’s not what this is about; really, those are just tangential tidbits.

Instead of dwelling on my totally awesome life, let’s talk today about holiday traditions, kids! (Sorry, I felt like I was on  a Barney/annoying children’s program on early in the morning for a second). Now that I’m home for Christmas, I can think about these things. Okay, done dwelling.

My family has some normal traditions, you know, stuff like giving each other presents, and making food together, that sort of thing. But then we have some things that might be kind of weird.  Or are, in fact, pretty darn weird.

For example, take the song “O Come, All Ye Faithful”. Instead of just singing it the normal, socially acceptable way, we break up the words weird. So, it’s O Co-o-o-ome a-all ye-ee fai-ai-aith-fu-u-ul / jo-o-y-fu-ul an-nd tri-u-u-u-mpha-ant (etc) .{Note. That looks super weird, and I definitely didn’t do our version justice. Just ask, sometime I’ll sing it for you. No big deal.}

So, now that we’ve accepted that my family is weird, here’s another one: You know the song “We Three Kings”? Well, why would we sing the real words to that when we have such great parody lyrics. Brace yourself.

“We Three Kings of Orient are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, it exploded
We two Kings of Orient are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, it explode
We one King of Orient are
Tried to smoke a rubber cigar
It was loaded, it exploded

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree
How Lovely are your Branches!”

Strange, yes? (Also, I’m sorry if I’ve now ruined these two  Christmas songs for you. It happens.)

Also, on my dad’s side of the family, we sometimes do white elephant gifts. I’m pretty sure that this treasure has been going around the family for a kajillion years.

Can you read the words on the figurine? If not, read this: "MALE FIGURE WITH SKIN LESIONS / Colima, Mexico ca. 400-800 AD.

Dreamy, right? Honestly, who wouldn’t want to take that treasure home?

One our less strange family traditions is what we call A Night in Bethlehem. What does this entail, you ask? Well, let me explain! We throw a blanket on the ground in our family room. We turn on the Christmas Tree Lights and the fireplace.  And we eat “Traditional” Bethlehemian foods–such as grapes, olives, pita bread, hummus, goat cheese, etc. And then we watch a quick little movie put out by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on the birth of Christ.  And actually, it’s pretty fun. Except for the one year that my mom thought it would be fun to try goat milk, only we bought it in a can and didn’t realize we needed to dilute it. That was pretty darn gross.

On a food-related note, my dad’s side of the family (courtesy of my grandpa) we make a delicious ice cream concoction.  Are you sitting down? Because you’re going to want to be when you see these ingredients.

Peppermint candy ice cream

Malt powder

and drumroll please

Rootbeer extract.

It sounds gross, and it looks pretty bad, too. But we like it. A lot! {Background on this tradition: Once upon a time, my grandpa went to some shop in Salt Lake, sat down at the counter, and ordered this. Success!}

So, that pretty much wraps up my weird family traditions. Merry Christmas!

What are some of your family’s weird or not-so-weird traditions?


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