And then I punched myself in the face

In case you didn’t know, I’m not the most graceful of creatures.

I’m not a good dancer–and I’ve never even tried to take a dance class.

Sometimes, my feet like to get in the way when I’m walking.

But one of  the things I’m best at  in all my clumsiness is punching myself in the face.

Exhibit #1.  I’m walking up the street in Scotland. (I just felt like throwing that out there.)  It’s a nice day, and there are tons of tourists (just like me) everywhere. We’re all trying to find the perfect postcard or something, and the streets are pretty full.  I’m walking on the edge of the sidewalk since there’s a pretty good-sized group of us. Well, with my awesome luck, I slip off the curb (not enough of a slip to fall, but just enough of a slip to be in the gutter). And–just like magic–a bus is almost going to hit me.  But that’s another story. So, I get back on the sidewalk, like any normal person would.  After a few seconds, my backpack  slips down my arm a wee bit. And I go to grab it. As I grab it, my hand slips and flies back up. Totally punched myself in the ear.

Talent, right?

Exhibit #2

Last night I woke up because I was cold. That’s nothing special, right? But, when I went to grab my blankets with my right hand, I couldn’t get my right arm to move at all. I think if I had been more awake at 4am, this would have freaked me out. But, to my half-asleep self, I just assumed it was an okay think that I couldn’t find my right arm.  (I’m a weirdo, I know.) Finally, I took my left hand and started trying to find my right arm. Guess where it was?

Curled up under my pillow, but completely numb.

So, my half asleep self decided it would be good to grab my right arm with my left arm and move it.  But, my arm was sooooo asleep that it wasn’t having anything to do with that plan. I got frustrated, and finally used my left hand to let my right hand flop.

And KAPOW. Totally punched myself in the chin. I’m still not sure quite how that happened.  Then, I tried to grab my right arm again to put in back in the blankets (I was still cold, obviously!), but somehow I managed to fling it back at my face instead. So, I punched myself in the face TWICE at 4 am.


Have you ever punched yourself in the face?



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