When I was seven years old, some of my neighbors had a doughnut tree.
Yes, a doughnut tree. via
Even as a seven-year-old, I thought this was weird. (But obviously not as weird as the above picture. What is that creepy doll doing there!?)
I mean, seriously. Everyone knows doughnuts (like money) don’t grow on trees. You have to somehow make them from delicious dough. As in “dough”nuts.
My neighbors would plant cheerio “seeds” on Monday, water it every day, and VOILA! By Saturday, their tree would blossom with delicious doughnuts whilst they were asleep in their cozy beds.
It just didn’t add up:
They never saw the buds.
The tree never had any leaves.
For that matter, the tree didn’t even look like a tree. It kind of just looked like a dead stick, stuck in the pot in their backyard.
To top off all the evidence of this not being a real live thing, why would cheerio seeds grow a doughnut tree?
Fun fact: They wouldn’t. They’d obviously grow a cheerio tree.
And now, after all these years, now that I’m 23, it’s nice to finally get that off my chest.
Thank you for helping me to become a more-adjusted human.