I’ve decided to start a new series (or, in my case–just a series, since I’ve never had a series before) on my blog. I call it “The Nosebleed Chronicles”. If you don’t do well with blood-related stories, you might want to avoid this series. Just a heads up. You can read parts one, two, and three here, and here, and here.
Before I tell this actual story, there’s something you should know about me upfront. I have an overdeveloped conscience. Meaning, if there is a rule in place, I have to follow it. If there is something for church I’m invited to or encouraged to attend, I have to go to it. I hate jaywalking, not because I could get hit by a car, but because it’s illegal and whenever I’ve done it, I’ve been filled with a horrible feeling of guilt. (Some people might say I’m insane. I wouldn’t disagree.)
With that behind us, let’s rock and roll. 🙂
During high school, I worked as a janitor at a local elementary school each day after school got out. I’d go home, grab a quick snack, and go clean disgusting bathrooms for two hours and then come home. Usually when I got home, I’d talk my mom’s ear off.
One day, I got home from work and my mom asked me to take a seat on the couch. She had something she wanted to talk to me about.
She started out by saying the school had called earlier.
In my mind, I’m thinking…okay, so what?
She went on: (Not an actual direct quote, but you get the point) “They said they caught you on a surveillance camera smoking in the bathroom.
WHAT THE HECK?
Naturally, I started to cry. I was so upset that I would ever be accused of doing something that was so terrible in my mind.
I started to explain to her that I had had a nosebleed earlier that day and had gone to the bathroom to take care of it, and that is probably what they saw, but my mom wouldn’t believe me. (So much for cauterization…)
That’s when I got a little teensy bit hysterical.
MY OWN MOM WOULDN’T BELIEVE THAT I WASN’T BREAKING THE RULES!!!!
And then, my nose started to bleed.
Gosh, I hate those stress-induced nosebleeds.
So, I was sitting on the couch, sobbing hysterically and having a massive nosebleed. My mom–in an attempt to calm me down–says this:
That did not calm me down. That made me angrier. And maybe a little more hysterical.
All in all, it definitely wasn’t my favorite April Fool’s day joke ever. 🙂