You guys. I’m not going to gush, I promise. That’s gross and I hate it when all of a sudden a blog that was semi-entertaining (if I can say that?) turns into “here’s-all-the-reasons-the-human/creature/fictional-character/rock-I’m-dating-is-better-than-anyone-you’ll-ever-date.” I hate that.
This is not that kind of story.
First of all, I just want you to know that no matter how many weird things happen to me on public transit (and we are all aware that weird things do tend to happen to me–especially in regards to dating…) I still really like it most of the time. Also, I promise that is relevant.
I was proposed to 2 weeks ago on the Frontrunner. I’m not even making this up.
Here’s what happened:
I sat down in one of the few pods that didn’t already have 2 people in it, and instantly the man sitting across from me started talking. Red flag number one.
When the 3rd sentence he uttered was, “You sure are beautiful,” I knew I was in for a real treat of a train ride. After the basic small talk that takes place on train rides, he quickly launched into his life story.
A few years before, he’d been hit by a car while he was crossing the street. The car was going 85 miles per hour when it hit him, and he was left with a traumatic brain injury. It had taken years of physical therapy to get him where he was today.
Over the course of our conversation, he told me that I was an angel sent from God to answer his prayers. He also informed me that he was sure that my children were just sitting in heaven BEGGING God to help me find a husband so they could come to earth. (If that’s not the greatest Mormon pick-up line there is…)
Being the awkward human (or maybe normal in this situation) that I am, I didn’t know what to say to these things. I felt, well, awkward.
So, we sat in silence for a few minutes. As we were just getting to the South Jordan station (about 20 minutes after I got on the train), he started asking me about my dating life; questions like, Do you have a boyfriend? Are lots of boys trying to marry you? The awkward ones you’re supposed to lie about to strangers. But, I couldn’t lie. (I’ve since made up a fake boyfriend so there’s less pressure on the spot to lie.)
When I told him no, he told me that we could get married. Right then. We could elope.
Call me old fashioned, but I told him NO.
Shocking that I turned down a marriage proposal, I know. Mrs. Bennett would be so upset with me! But hear me out.
1. I’d prefer to not marry a man who is old enough to be my father.
2. I’d prefer to have known him for longer than half of a commute. This isn’t BYU anymore, folks.
3. Although the line about my children begging was enchanting and charming, I just couldn’t do it.
4. He didn’t even get down on one knee!!! That’s a deal-breaker, people of America.
5. He tried to kiss me five minutes after meeting me. (Did I mention that earlier? Because that’s real life. I also told him no to that–strangers (and not strangers alike) can’t just kiss me whenever they meet me. That’s creepy.)
So, there you have it. I’m not engaged, so you can all breathe easy