In which I interact with a Homeless Person

In case you weren’t sure, I’m terribly afraid of homeless people.

It might have something to do with the fact that I tend to attract weirdos, and so lots of homeless people want to talk to me, or the fact that once a homeless person TURNED DOWN THE DELICIOUS RASPBERRY FRUIT LEATHER I HAD TO OFFER THEM, or the fact that one tried to get me to ride the Frontrunner up to Ogden with him for his court date.

Whatever the cause—I just don’t really love talking with or being nearby homeless people.

BUT.  You guys. This year is a year of bounds and leaps for me. 25 is the year that I make a lot of progress. I declared this, and thus it is so.  So, I accidentally interacted with a homeless person.

My roommate Victoria and I were at Smith’s. I don’t remember what we were buying, but it was a quick in and out trip.  We got our stuff (I think we had 5 grocery sacks between the two of us) and headed back out to Victoria’s car.

As we got to where the car was parked, and homeless (I’m declaring her homeless. She had the tell-tale signs: A shopping cart full of possessions, not groceries;  A kind of homeless appearance, and lots and lots of layers on.)  woman was slowly meandering through the parking lot RIGHT BEHIND OUR CAR.

Victoria and I looked at each other—the look that said, “Well, we could be here a while.” And we slowly loaded our groceries into the car, thinking that at some point she would move. She didn’t.  As we finished loading the car, she started talking to us.

For some reason, she was very concerned about our well-being with winter coming.  She told us we needed to bundle up. And to wear gloves. And to keep warm.  I smiled at her and starting taking our shopping cart back.

As I dropped it off, she had moved from behind Victoria’s car.  She was walking toward me and when she was close enough to have a conversation without yelling (which, for the record, is closer than I ever like to be to homeless people), she started telling me I really needed to take care of myself.

Homeless woman: “Do you have gloves? You’re going to need gloves in the winter.”

Me: “I do have some, just not with me.”

Homeless woman: “Well, {pointing across the parking lot} if you need to keep your hands warm, that Walgreens over there has these {shows me her hands} really fuzzy socks for just $1.  If you double up and put 2 pairs on each hand you can stay real warm.”

Me: “Thank you! Maybe I’ll have to check that out.”

Homeless woman: “Yeah. They’re just $1 at Walgreens. Can you believe that? It’s a great deal! You should go get some right now.”

{At this point, Victoria is looking at me through her car window, wondering if I am ever coming back.}

Me: “Thanks for the tip. I’ll definitely look into it.”

Homeless woman: “Make sure you take care of yourself. It gets real cold here in winter.”

Me: {Walking away quickly, but not too quickly so that I’m not rude}  “Thank you!”

By the time I got to the car, she was still preaching to me from the other side of the parking lot (well, not really the other side because she wasn’t moving that fast, but we were going in opposite directions so we were further away from each other and she was yelling) about the wonderful $1 socks from Walgreens.

So, you guys.  First, I talked to a homeless person. AND SHE WASN’T EVEN SCARY.

And second of all, if you can’t afford gloves this winter—Walgreens has fuzzy socks for just $1 that you can put on your hands.


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