Airborne

Last winter, around this time, I caught a bug.  I was calling it “inversion lung” because I thought it was directly related to the quality of the air I was breathing in.  Turned out, my airway was infected (which, I guess could still be caused by an inversion).  When I went to visit the doctor, he told me I’d be contagious for a week and the only thing he could tell me to do was pump the fluids and take ibuprofen to keep the swelling (and pain) down.

It was miserable. I couldn’t speak. My throat hurt. I was tired. I had a nasty cough. And I was confined to my room, since I was contagious. Talk about misery.

Yesterday at work, I felt like I was coming down with inversion lung again. Just to be safe, I decided to mix up some Airborne and take it.  You know, as a precautionary measure.

I took my water bottle into the bathroom to mix it up.

This is what my water bottle looks like.

I added the proper amount of water, and the airborne tablet and started to swirl the bottle around.  I waited patiently for the tablet to dissolve. When it was all dissolved and mixed together, I popped the lid to drink it.

I didn’t get to drink it.

The airborne squirted itself up, out of the water bottle and onto the ceiling. All over the bathroom. In my hair. On my pants. EVERYWHERE.

The thing about airborne is that it’s kind of this yellow-y color–not exactly the most appealing colored liquid to have splattered all over a public restroom.

So, I did what any normal citizen would do: I left it all there for the unfortunate custodial crew to clean up.

Don’t worry. I’m joking. I would never do that! (Having been an elementary school janitor, I know how unpleasant surprises in the bathroom can me.)

I started mopping the floor with the paper towels.  When I had sufficiently smeared the airborne everywhere, I attempted to clean off the ceiling. To do this, I had to stand on the toilet seats (Don’t worry, I didn’t fall in!)  As I started reaching for the ceiling spill, someone came into the bathroom and I had to explain what was going on.

That was kind of embarrassing.  She just looked at me like she had never heard of anyone accidentally spilling their drink all over a public bathroom before.

I told my boss.  He laughed at me.  I told my coworkers. They laughed at me.  It was the best way to end a Friday at work.

And that’s the story of how my airborne went airborne! (Cheesy, but necessary.)

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