Gastroenteritis

Sometimes during the winter, the flu happens.  And it’s miserable and you think you’re dying and all you want to do is cry and sleep and barf and curl up in a ball and die.  These are facts, people.  In my last round of the flu, I learned some other facts that I thought might be helpful to you as well.

1.  Even though it has “insta” in the name, instacares still have long waits. Like 2 hours sometimes.  DECEPTION.

2.  Barfing is humiliating.  Barfing in public is even more humiliating. Barfing in public in the instacare parking lot is also pretty darn humiliating. (ALSO: WHO DESIGNED THOSE OUTDOOR TRASHCANS WITH SUCH SMALL OPENINGS ON THE TOP?!?!)

3. If they offer you an IV, you should probably take it.  THAT MEANS YOU’RE SICK.  Or dehydrated. Or both.  You probably shouldn’t just go home and try to drink away your dehydration. I mean, it might work, but you sure will feel waterlogged.

4.  There really isn’t anything netflix can’t make better (except maybe your academic scores… I think we have all been there before…) Even if you fall asleep during your second episode of something, it’s okay.  Netflix was the cure.

5.  If you get barfy at the instacare, they’ll give you souvenir barfbags. WHAT. A. TREAT.

The great news is, it was a short bug. And now all I want to do is eat all the food in the whole world (which is a major step up from where I was before I picked up gastroenteritis).

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